Why Valentine's Day Is Basically Christmas For Singles!
I’ll never forget my freshman year at the College of Charleston. On Valentine’s Day, this sweet boy named Pete rushed up to me in the cafeteria and said, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Cator! This is YOUR day!” Yes, I thought, this IS my day. I love the idea of ‘Love’. For years I really owned Valentine’s Day. I would illustrate cards in college and mail them to friends and family. When I was a fashion writer, I would pass out little hokey Valentine cards to friends at fashion shows (fall/winter shows are held in early February darlings!).
As Deee-Lite once grooved, “What is Love?” It can be of course an emotion for friends, family, significant other, but as an article in Time reminds me, “We would have a healthier conception of love if we understood that love, like parenting or friendship, is a feeling that expresses itself in action.” That can be anything from being cordial to a waiter or grocery bagger to expressing my love to people through calls, notes, hugs and random acts of kindness.
“Loving Kindness”, keeps coming to mind this year for Valentine’s. I know it refers to a Buddhist meditation that speaks to loving yourself and others. I really like that. It also reminds me of one of my favorite Nina Simone songs, “I Think it’s Going to Rain Today” when she coos, “Human kindness is overflowing…” I also love the quote I see all over Instagram by H. Swanepoel, ‘Kindness is love made visible.’ Can I get an Amen?
Lovingkindness is a natural opening of a compassionate heart...to us and to others. It’s a wish that everyone be happy. One of the meditations I connect with is:
May I be filled with lovingkindness
May I be held in loving kindness...
May I feel connected and calm...
May I accept myself just as I am...
May I be happy...
May I know the natural joy of being alive...
May all beings be filled with lovingkindness...
May all beings be happy...
May all beings awaken and be free...
How about closing your eyes and speaking some or all of this on Valentine's (OR ANY AND EVERY DAY), regardless if you are coupled or single. How does that feel?
For singles, Valentine’s Day can be hard and can bring up feelings of unworthiness, and even anger, hence the ‘Stupid Cupid’ themed parties we hear about. I can’t imagine throwing a party against love, but I do get snubbing our noses at the commercialization of it all. But hello, today is all about SELF LOVE TOO! Go ahead and book that massage for yourself, buy those boots you have been eyeing or pick up that sex toy that you have been wondering about. Valentine’s for singles is basically Christmas for yourself!
The New York Times posted an article all about kindness. The author speaks about doing small acts of kindness without expecting anything in return to right the boat of bedlam our society has been bobbing on- rage in politics, climate change, mass shootings, sexual predators. It can all be too much. So why not simply BE KIND?
Kind actions include:
Send a note (ok, a text!) to a friend who is sick
Look people experiencing homelessness in the eye and smile or ask how they are instead of pretending they are not there.
Call a relative who is elderly or lonely
Invite an old friend out to dinner
Go clean up your block or a park
Take your pup on an extra-long walk.
Buy local!
As always, I am here for you if you want to do a little self-work. How's that for a Valentine's Day gift to yourself? And if you want to bring more kindness into your life, school or workplace, check out Random Acts of Kindness.
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