The Word That Resonates for 2021 is.....

Dec 24

Happy Holidays Y’all!

What a year. I have been taking time to think about the word that really resonates with me for 2021. Last year it was ‘Grace’. Boy howdy, did that word come in handy this year - mostly in terms of giving grace to myself, when I had no work, when I was alone for so many months, when the world felt like God just grabbed it and shook it, hard.

While I tried to have grace with others, it was hard sometimes. Mostly for political reasons that we don’t need to get into, but it showed me I still have work to do on myself, life is a never ending lesson.

Sitting down and meditating on what word resonates for 2021, Kamala Harris’ acceptance speech came to mind. While Biden was the first President elect to ever thank trans folks in his victory speech, Harris’ speech touched me deeply. So I googled the transcript and when I read this, I knew I had found my word:

“I know times have been challenging, especially the last several months.

The grief, sorrow, and pain. The worries and the struggles.

But we’ve also witnessed your courage, your resilience, and the generosity of your spirit.”

RESILIENCE- the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress. To bounce back.

Yes, the trauma of COVID happened in 2020, and will continue for much of 2021, the new year is about adapting to the new normal. Even with a vaccine, our world has changed forever (don’t worry, that isn’t a bad thing!). From anti maskers and anti vaxxers to how we interact with others, not to mention travel (!), we are moving into a new way of life, one we must take in stride along with patience and compassion.

For many Americans, resilience comes in the form of our soon to be President and VP. The trauma of 45, his anger, his hate, his divisiveness, while it sadly may not go away, it certainly won’t be running (ruining?) this country. How exciting to be a team player on the global stage once again. A time for America itself to be resilient.

Where does Resilience resonate in your life?

For me it can be the little things like:

Being ok with not hearing back from a client when I thought we were doing such great work together.
It can be how I process an argument with a friend or a family member.
It can simply be going to bed, to wake up to a fresh, resilient, start.
When I was a child it was about going to school even though I knew I would get bullied. I had to bounce back, I had to adapt.

And how do you become more resilient?

For me I focus on:

Self love. When I am hurt, I light some incense, turn on East Forest, and sit with the emotions and let them flow. Usually while holding one of my dogs way too tight.
Talk it out. When I experience trauma, tragedy, setbacks, I lean into my friends, family, mentors and coaches who always hold space for me, as I do for them.
Embracing the now. I will never forget when my former boss, Brad Lande said to me, ‘When your computer says there is an update, just do it! It’s always your advantage to embrace change and be a pioneer than be left in the dust.’ Adapting...
Staying positive. Not a fake, EVERYTHING IS FINE attitude, rather, being grateful for what I have at that moment. Knowing that this trauma/tragedy has occurred as a lesson to grow from. Being fired from a job, getting dumped, or failing a test sucks, but looking back, what I learned from those experiences is invaluable.

Clearly the word is resonating. I swear I came up with this before Mrs. Huffington’s articlewas posted. I swear! But I am so glad we are on the same page. I am thankful she quoted the psychologist Emmy Werner, who studied resilience in children:

‘In an interview about her work on resilience, Emmy Werner talked about the role spirituality plays in cultivating greater resilience. It’s not about any one organized religion, but what “faith provides for you as an emotional support, as a way indeed of making sense of your life and your suffering, and also as a way to help you become a chain that you yourself give back something to others who have given to you. That’s a very, very important part of the community of faith that should be more appreciated by people that either want to foster resilience or study it.’

I couldn’t agree more. Keeping the faith is what resilience is all about, and as I have said before, serving others is one of the best ways I find to bounce back. It takes me out of myself, takes the focus away from my issues, no matter how serious they seem, when I am helping someone else through coaching, volunteering or simply listening, I find resilience.

As we rev up for a week of holiday cheer, take care of yourself, be patient with your children and elders, stop and breathe, soak in the season and remember there is no better present than presence.

Peace-

Cator