Finding Our Rhythm at the Second Annual GBTQ Retreat

Staying at Easton Mountain was like discovering a gay nirvana. Waking to birds singing, gazing a vistas of rolling hills, idyllic ponds, and rabbits frolicking. Pride flags fluttering in the distance.

I am so thankful this is where we facilitated our second annual GBTQ+ Retreat. Easton Mountain, a retreat center founded by a group of gay men in 2000, is a magical place located on 175 acres of rolling hills about 45 min from Albany, New York. It reminded me of an ashram, where gay hippies of all ages run the place, every building has cozy rooms full of eccentric art, pillows, floor chairs, and musical instruments. The hot tub has lush plants all around it (and handlebars on the ceiling!) and one room has a closet full of the most dazzling drag.

As soon as I arrived I got teary-eyed, as gay men we don’t have many spaces besides bars that we can claim as our own, as a safe space. I felt the energy of our elders who built this place, the volunteers who work tirelessly to keep it going, and the gorgeous mix of spirituality and naughtiness that thrives equally on these sacred grounds.

Mike and I facilitated our last retreat in Texas in September of 2023. It was our first and we weren’t sure of the turnout so we rented a small AIRBNB and hoped for the best. The response was better than expected, so this year we went big and rented out the whole retreat center just for us. We also wanted to support a gay-owned center and Easton Mountain is one of the few on the East Coast. Over the past six months, we have promoted the retreat on Instagram, on podcasts, with emails, and on Facebook groups. 14 men signed up and we felt accomplished.

With more men, we needed more support, so we invited our fellow life coach, Ettore Toppi to join us. That way we can create smaller break-out groups so the men can have more time and space to share. We also invited our yogi friend Luke Simon to join us to teach yoga classes each morning before breakfast- much needed when we spend so much time sitting in circle and working with so much emotion and energy.

While retreats are very confidential spaces for these men to do some serious work, I can share that the group of men who joined us this time were all dedicated, curious, and open to connecting deeper with each other, and most importantly, themselves. It’s scary to sign up for a weekend with strangers to break open, be vulnerable, and share parts of yourself you rarely share with the world. But like most retreats, after the first night, the bonding begins, the trust grows, safety is secured, and ALL the emotions erupt.

This isn’t just a ‘crying queers’ retreat. There is so much joy, laughter, and connection in the swirl! That’s a huge part of why we do this work. All of the men in both retreats have shared that they don’t feel like they have a close-knit group of gay friends to be vulnerable with. Sure, you may have a group of friends you go dancing with, hit the bars with, send meme’s to on a huge text group, but who do you talk to when you are sad, lonely, or simply want to go deep on a topic (that isn’t Drag Race or sex)? Often, those connections are made here.

While the days were busy with the work, during the evenings we piled into the sauna to relax before bed. These are alcohol and drug-free weekends, so no late nights unless the men get in deep discussions! Mornings kicked off with the lovely Luke offering a yoga class to all who wanted to attend at 7 am. Breakfast at 8, butts in seats at 9:15. The chef and kitchen staff at Easton Mountain made the most delicious meals for us to keep us nourished and healthy through the weekend.

I am delighted to share that we feel like we have found our home at Easton Mountain. We are already booked in for next April 17-20 (yes, Easter weekend!) 2025, for our third retreat. Yes, we are extending the next one to four days. We heard so much feedback that the men wanted more time, so we listened. I am also happy to share that Mike and I have brought Ettore and Luke into the fold as team members to grow this retreat, spread the word, and have more men we trust supporting this much-needed space.

I feel so much gratitude for finding this path and for the opportunity to do this work. As I said last year, when I am working with these men is when I feel whole. Getting juicy, raw, and connected. Helping men learn tools to regulate their bodies and get present. To remember and believe that mantra- I am Enough.

Interested in learning more? Hit me up! We will open registration soon.

This is Cator feeling warm fuzzies writing this. I am here and I am complete.